demon-possesed starter/alfa story

["walter cox" <al74fa@domain.elided>]

Alfolks-  

Recent  postings by Brian Ancelin and Dick Stachowiak regarding  weird
starter  behavior on 115 series cars reminded me of a personal experience
with same, and in short order, caused the following:  both knees to itch,
a throbbing at the back of my head,  and a definite twinge in a certain
sphincter muscle.  Here's why.  One evening in the early 90's as I was
fondly twiddling the spica linkage on my then newly acquired '74 GTV, I
attempted to start the car to maintain the required coolant temperature. 
Imagine my surprise  when it continued to grind away on it's own when I 
released the key!  In lieu of any particular effective action, I spun
around to the right front to peer  at the starter thinking maybe it could
be willed to stop.  No luck!.  Heading back  around to the driver's
window, I gave the  switch a heartfelt  flip both ways--nyet!  As best I
can remember, the situation deteriorated from there.  Proceeding to the
rear(trunk-mounted battery),  I spun around like a man with one foot
nailed to the floor when I recalled the location  of the trunk release
(door jamb).  To the sound of a slowing starter, I headed once more to
the trunk whereupon I  ran afoul of a shop air hose (or maybe  the
trouble light cord) and  succeeded in abrading the skin from both knees
as I ground to a halt on the gravel floor of  my garage.  Hobbling and
cursing my way to the trunk, I finally realized why the D.P.O. had fitted
wing nuts on the battery posts as I snatched the ground  cable off, and
prematurely gave a sigh of relief just before raising myself  to lacerate
my head on the trunk latch.  That was the FIRST time!

The SECOND time occurred after I had given the little Italian jewel a 
proper washing including a thorough underhood degreasing and rinse.  As
it sat gleaming in my driveway, and I sat admiring it through my bathroom
window, I had almost forgiven and forgotten the previous episode, having
attributed the starter's behavior to a low voltage condition, a lazy
bendix return spring, or perhaps some quaint, purely alfa characteristic
as yet  undiscovered in the "Owner's Bible".  Suddenly there came the
unmistakable sound of  SOMEONE TRYING TO START MY CAR!  From the vantage
point of one "indisposed", I watched  helplessly as what my wife calls my
"manifestation of a midlife crisis" slowly chugged it's way  up the
driveway to "thunk" itself solidly against  the garage door center post
and send up an immediate plume of  costly-looking smoke.  Yep--fried
starter and attendant  wiring = cash outlay, skinned knuckles, garage
time =  more acquired marque expertise.  W.O.B. rules kick in here, or
you'd  hear about the THIRD time--yes, no lessons learned easily here. 
Water under the hood figured in that one too.  Eventually, after relating
my story to the late Gary Valant,  he had a good laugh at my expense and
explained the potential for the feedback loop.   I'm still not
sure  what  water  had to do with it though--  your thoughts? 
Walter Cox ,  Oak
Cliff(Dallas) TX.                                                                                                                                                                                                    
'59 sprint normale (gone looking for a thicker wallet)'73 spider ( sold
to a collector with a list)'74 GTV (starts every time, first time, these
times)
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